A Change Is Brewing, but I Am Hopeful

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I’ve been thinking about this post for a while now. Not sure what to say, or how to say it. Not entirely sure I wanted to say anything at all.

But I do want to talk about it. It has been pulsing gently in the back of my brain every time I sit down to write. I feel like it has dampened my mood and spirit, and I’m afraid of the toll that it is taking on my writing. I fear that the tone of my blog has changed ever so slightly. Maybe it hasn’t, really. It’s possible that I am the only one who sees any change, but still…I want to get it out. To share.

My parents – after 30+ years of marriage, two kids, one house, and a handful of Labrador Retrievers – are divorcing.

And while it does suck for so many reasons, at the very heart of the issue, I support this decision. I’m ok with it. I really, truly am – probably more than you would expect a child to be.

Secret To Change

Of course I’m sad. I’m sad for the end of their union. I’m sad that my parents, for the first time in my life, will relate to my brother and I as individuals, instead of the unit we’ve always known. I’m sad for my brother, who is closer to the nucleus of this whole ordeal. I’m sad for the parent who didn’t ask for this change, but who must muddle through it anyway. I’m sad to say goodbye to life as I’ve known it for 28 years. It weighs heavy on my heart and mind.

But I am hopeful. I know there is a beautiful life waiting for both of them in this next chapter. I am certain that they will thrive in this new unknown. We all have to learn to exist in this new reality, but I have hope that we will be better, stronger, and happier for it.

I love my parents, and I want them to be happy. I can honestly say that I see them both being happier, stronger people when they emerge on the other side of this mess. First, though, we have to get through the mess.

So, if it seems like my head isn’t always in the game, forgive me, please. My world is in a bit of a transition.

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  • So glad you have a positive viewpoint on this. My mom definitely became a stronger, happier person post divorce.

  • Amanda MeeMee

    I’m sorry. 🙁 Its good that you can take such a realistic view on things though. That will help you and everyone else cope.

    http://voyageofthemeemee.blogspot.com

  • oh my goodness. my heart goes out to you and your family nikki. big hugs to you.

  • so so sorry to hear this! must be so tough on your whole family but that is good that you are staying positive about it that it will work out for the best.

  • Kathy@Vodka and Soda

    🙁 i’m sorry to hear about this. sometimes we forget that our parents are people too and they also deserve happiness, even if it isn’t with their partner. your positivity will definitely help your family through this.

    -kathy @ Vodka and Soda

  • So sorry to hear this, no matter what age I imagine divorce is always hard on everyone!

    I’m so impressed with your positive attitude towards the whole thing, it will help make things easier on the people you love the most.

  • It’s never easy to go through a change but when it’s a change you can’t control it’s even worse. I am so sorry to hear this and I hope there’s some peace in your heart and your brother’s heart very soon.

    Love you lady.

  • Tammy Wiederhold

    Praying for y’all during this difficult time!

  • That can’t be an easy thing to deal with for you or your family. But you seem to have a positive outlook on it- and that’s great! Thinking of you…and as you said to me the other day- you ever need an ear to wine/whine, I’m your girl!!

  • the fussy britches

    Sorry to hear about your parents. I can’t imagine this is at all easy for you, your brother, and your parents. It always bothers me when I hear about people divorcing after being married so long. I know they need to do what makes them happy, but it’s so hard for me to imagine going through so much of life with one person and then not wanting to stay married to them. Maybe it makes me fear that will happen to my own marriage. Marriage is so complicated and I’m positive that I know so little about it now. It’s so weird to look back on all the stuff you thought you knew when you were younger only to realize years later that you really had no idea. Anyway I’m sure you’ll look back on this years later and you’ll have a better understanding of their decisions and hopefully you’ll see your parents did what is best for them. Until then just keep moving forward as best as you can.

  • Oh Nikki. My heart breaks for you and for your family. Because while everything will be okay, change isn’t always comfortable or fun or easy. In fact, it hardly ever is. Your heart and hope in the situation is beautiful and admirable and inspiring. It’s what’s helped me continue on in the face of extreme sadness just like I know that it’ll do for you. My hearts with you Nikki and my prayers deep for all of you.