I’ve been thinking about this post for a while now. Not sure what to say, or how to say it. Not entirely sure I wanted to say anything at all.
But I do want to talk about it. It has been pulsing gently in the back of my brain every time I sit down to write. I feel like it has dampened my mood and spirit, and I’m afraid of the toll that it is taking on my writing. I fear that the tone of my blog has changed ever so slightly. Maybe it hasn’t, really. It’s possible that I am the only one who sees any change, but still…I want to get it out. To share.
My parents – after 30+ years of marriage, two kids, one house, and a handful of Labrador Retrievers – are divorcing.
And while it does suck for so many reasons, at the very heart of the issue, I support this decision. I’m ok with it. I really, truly am – probably more than you would expect a child to be.
Of course I’m sad. I’m sad for the end of their union. I’m sad that my parents, for the first time in my life, will relate to my brother and I as individuals, instead of the unit we’ve always known. I’m sad for my brother, who is closer to the nucleus of this whole ordeal. I’m sad for the parent who didn’t ask for this change, but who must muddle through it anyway. I’m sad to say goodbye to life as I’ve known it for 28 years. It weighs heavy on my heart and mind.
But I am hopeful. I know there is a beautiful life waiting for both of them in this next chapter. I am certain that they will thrive in this new unknown. We all have to learn to exist in this new reality, but I have hope that we will be better, stronger, and happier for it.
I love my parents, and I want them to be happy. I can honestly say that I see them both being happier, stronger people when they emerge on the other side of this mess. First, though, we have to get through the mess.
So, if it seems like my head isn’t always in the game, forgive me, please. My world is in a bit of a transition.